Haven't posted here in a really long time... No one reads it anyway. It's mostly just for me. I'd post to LJ but I'm at school - I'd use LogMeIn.com to access my home computer, but our internet got cut off.
So... Incredibly stressed out again. I said before I wasn't going to stay in tech theater after Dracula, but here I am. Show week. Had our first performance this morning and it didn't go too badly. Another one tonight, and one a night all this week. I thought it was going to be fun because I woke up feeling refreshed and energized for once, even though I only got three hours of sleep. I walked outside and it was beautiful out - it had rained a lot in the night so everything was wet and had that fresh rain smell to it. And I could see the Moon - it was all hazy and blurred from the clouds, so it had a parchment yellow tinge to it. Exactly half today. It was pretty warm too. I got an energy drink (NOS) and got to school early. Missed my morning classes for the performance. Everything was feeling pretty good, until we were five minutes to curtain and we couldn't find Joy or Carter - stage manager and assistant stage manager. So we were all really nervous and stressed because we were all running around trying to find people to do their jobs. They both showed up about 10 minutes into the show and we got everything under control. Everyone was in a bad mood though, which was really depressing. I started to feel sick, getting headaches and stuff from being nervous. So all my energy and good mood just fell away. Lunch came, we split up, blah blah blah. So here I am on my spare, depressed. At least I only have English and a clarinet sectional today, aside from the evening performance. Oh and I got my English homework done in about three minutes.
I've been a little bit depressed a lot lately. A lot of things going on in my life - at home, with friends, boyfriend, school, etc. At least I relieved a lot of stress by getting REALLY drunk on the weekend at the Plaza. That kicked ass. It only took two coolers this time. Never drinking rum again, by the way. Yuck. I actually almost threw up this time and had a hang over. But had a lot of fun. We watched Pan's Labyrinth, then when the actual paying customers left, Double Tee set the DVD projector up for us (me, Carter, and West) and we watched a few episodes of Zim. We quickly lost interest in favor of the alcohol though, and put my iPod on some Boingo. I was singing along at the top of my lungs and dancing around lol. Around 2am Phil came in with a few friends after hanging out at a bar, put on some crappy music, and got more alcohol. I didn't have anymore though. Carter somehow got me to take a drink of the rum straight - the very memory of that shit makes me want to throw up ><
Anyway... Boingo obsession further escalating. The very last Johnny Vatos Tribute to Halloween is taking place in October this year, and there's a chance I might be able to go. As long as I get a job when tech is over, start saving up, get a passport, and possibly a fake ID if needed. Carter wants to come too. We're going to meet this girl I met on the Steve Bartek forums - she offered to send me some money for a plane ticket, but if I can I'll save up for my own. We'll probably just meet her at the airport, go to the concert with her, then stay with her, wherever her and her friends are staying. Normally I'd be really paranoid about meeting someone like that, but I'll be okay because Carter will be with me.
Relationship problems... I was going to talk about that at length because it's been on my mind a LOT lately, but I'm somewhat paranoid about putting that on the internet, even though there's about a 1% chance someone I know will find it and mention it. I've brought it up a few times with friends and my mom, but I don't know... Things don't feel right the way they are. My Tarot cards confirmed it.
I feel like being with someone... A friend. Anyone. I feel distant and alone. I still have those seratonin booster pills Carter gave me...
So... Incredibly stressed out again. I said before I wasn't going to stay in tech theater after Dracula, but here I am. Show week. Had our first performance this morning and it didn't go too badly. Another one tonight, and one a night all this week. I thought it was going to be fun because I woke up feeling refreshed and energized for once, even though I only got three hours of sleep. I walked outside and it was beautiful out - it had rained a lot in the night so everything was wet and had that fresh rain smell to it. And I could see the Moon - it was all hazy and blurred from the clouds, so it had a parchment yellow tinge to it. Exactly half today. It was pretty warm too. I got an energy drink (NOS) and got to school early. Missed my morning classes for the performance. Everything was feeling pretty good, until we were five minutes to curtain and we couldn't find Joy or Carter - stage manager and assistant stage manager. So we were all really nervous and stressed because we were all running around trying to find people to do their jobs. They both showed up about 10 minutes into the show and we got everything under control. Everyone was in a bad mood though, which was really depressing. I started to feel sick, getting headaches and stuff from being nervous. So all my energy and good mood just fell away. Lunch came, we split up, blah blah blah. So here I am on my spare, depressed. At least I only have English and a clarinet sectional today, aside from the evening performance. Oh and I got my English homework done in about three minutes.
I've been a little bit depressed a lot lately. A lot of things going on in my life - at home, with friends, boyfriend, school, etc. At least I relieved a lot of stress by getting REALLY drunk on the weekend at the Plaza. That kicked ass. It only took two coolers this time. Never drinking rum again, by the way. Yuck. I actually almost threw up this time and had a hang over. But had a lot of fun. We watched Pan's Labyrinth, then when the actual paying customers left, Double Tee set the DVD projector up for us (me, Carter, and West) and we watched a few episodes of Zim. We quickly lost interest in favor of the alcohol though, and put my iPod on some Boingo. I was singing along at the top of my lungs and dancing around lol. Around 2am Phil came in with a few friends after hanging out at a bar, put on some crappy music, and got more alcohol. I didn't have anymore though. Carter somehow got me to take a drink of the rum straight - the very memory of that shit makes me want to throw up ><
Anyway... Boingo obsession further escalating. The very last Johnny Vatos Tribute to Halloween is taking place in October this year, and there's a chance I might be able to go. As long as I get a job when tech is over, start saving up, get a passport, and possibly a fake ID if needed. Carter wants to come too. We're going to meet this girl I met on the Steve Bartek forums - she offered to send me some money for a plane ticket, but if I can I'll save up for my own. We'll probably just meet her at the airport, go to the concert with her, then stay with her, wherever her and her friends are staying. Normally I'd be really paranoid about meeting someone like that, but I'll be okay because Carter will be with me.
Relationship problems... I was going to talk about that at length because it's been on my mind a LOT lately, but I'm somewhat paranoid about putting that on the internet, even though there's about a 1% chance someone I know will find it and mention it. I've brought it up a few times with friends and my mom, but I don't know... Things don't feel right the way they are. My Tarot cards confirmed it.
I feel like being with someone... A friend. Anyone. I feel distant and alone. I still have those seratonin booster pills Carter gave me...
posted by Spockula at 11:45 AM
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