Booooooh....

Yet another CALM class. Should be working on portfolio, but I'm lazy. But I is sneaky. And here instead. I'm also paranoid. Not much to talk about... Other than I hate math class alot less and a lot more at the same time. More because I get paper airplanes thrown at me then I get laughed at for getting mad. Less because I talked to my teacher after getting some help and I don't know why exactly, but it made me feel better about math. I hate the amount of times I just said the word "math" LOL.

Life's a lot less stressful now. I dropped wrestling and Dracula's over - all that's left is the wrap-up party after school today (which is being advertised over the intercom as a "very important meeting in the theater at 2:15 lmao). I would have stayed with wrestling, but because there's a really good chance my anxiety attack/mental-emotional breakdown was caused by stress, I decided it's not worth it. Especially since practice is five days a week now, half at another school. So fuck that. I'm going to probably be backstage crew for the dance production Follow The Yellow Brick Road again. I said I wouldn't, but... I don't know. It's supposed to be a lot easier because there are a lot less props. It's mainly audio and light, and maybe some furniture and set flats. I might do makeup too. Which I've started wearing myself this week. I had some extra time in the morning and wanted to try something different lol. Woooo 10-15 more minutes until lunch.

Xmas shopping this weekend. Probably. Either that or wandering around the mall with Kai and Carter. Whee.

Goodbye, Goodbye.

"How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light."

- Barry Lopez